I agree with you that Republicans are far, far bigger assholes than Democrats. And that in the current GOP, there is no standard by which to live up to character-wise, as there is on the Left. On the Left, they eat their own. They won't tolerate abusive bullies or misogyny. The Right has nothing useful for America, but winning is the easy part since most people, as you correctly point out, want the dog and pony show. The "problem" for democrats is that there are now laws on the books to protect us from nearly everything. Fur example, we've eradicated, legally speaking, sexism, racism, bigotry, you name it. The Dems won. However, defending these progressive gains and holding the line against the reactionary impulses of the Right is not sexy. It doesn't make due good campaign slogans. A true and honest Democrat's campaign slogan should be "Let's keep chugging along and make improvements where we need to" but that's boring as hell to the uneducated.

The closest thing we have to a major Democrat with brass balls is Newsome. But as a Democrat, he can't be rude, intimidating, and funny all at once like Trump (or a drunk uncle) can. Dems sound like our mothers whereas Republicans sound like an old high school buddy we'd love to have a beer with, because the former is about substance that's good for us and the other is full of shit and giggles.

In the real world, people run to their mothers when shit gets so broke you need a competent adult to fix it. This is why after a ruinous Republican presidency, people need the adult leadership of a Democrat for a while. So we'll keep winning the big prize, but the sophomoric attitude of the electorate ensures we lose it again and again.